“FAKE NEWS”: A Guest Post from President Donald Trump.

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[The following is a transcript of some remarks about “fake news” which President Trump made during last night’s press conference.]

… Terrible, terrible people, folks… Incredible… This woman Sturgeon is FAKE NEWS, folks, that’s FAKE NEWS!

She has become SO DISHONEST that if we don’t talk about it, we are doing a tremendous disservice to the Scottish people. A tremendous disservice, we gotta talk about it, because she’s outta of control – this woman is simply outta control. And nobody mentions it, folks, nobody at all!

She’s on the MAINSTREAM MEDIA – and it’s a beauty, folks! – saying that SHE – yes, SHE! – is the VICTIM – yes, that’s right, you heard that right, folks – that SHE’S the VICTIM of austerity. So dishonest, so tremendously dishonest!

You looka the money that’s given to Scotland – all that money they get given back by the folks down in London – and it’s gone UP – tryda wrap your head around this folks! – it’s actually GONE UP – up ALL THROUGH the hard times folks. Just looka the figures! She got £35,000 million in 2008 – that’s EVERY YEAR! – now she GETS OVER £37,000 million!

It’s gone DOWN for the poorest, folks. Gone DOWN for PEOPLE ON BENEFITS! Gone DOWN for all of those folks in wheelchairs. But –and it’s incredible – how she gets away with this, it’s just incredible! – it’s GONE UP for the SNP – WHO THEN SPEND IT ALL ON PAYING TUITION FEES FOR THE MIDDLE CLASS! She says that cuts are KILLING the poor, KILLING people on benefits, when it’s she who’s spending all the money! On degrees for these folks who go and workin Starbucks!

Pure fake news, folks, classic fake news!

The SNP are one of the MOST POWERFUL lobbying organisations in the United Kingdom, and yet they’re TELLING all the folks over there that THEY’RE the victims, [banging the podium with his fist] that THEY’RE the victims… We gotta talk about this folks, because it’s incredible! She stands in front of all the people and TELLS LIES – I mean, how can you even wrap your head around this?

And I can’t get my head around this, I literally can’t get my head around it. She says that this austerity she thinks she’s in – this austerity, folks, in which these MIDDLE-CLASS Scottish young people, who are perfectly healthy, they’re tremendously healthy, folks – get MORE MONEY to go to university and study something dumb, folks, something dumb like “Writing” – they get MORE MONEY than the poorest, sickest folks in the rest of the UK, folks – they say that this “austerity” – these “cuts” in which they get MORE MONEY – are SO BAD, that they have to REJECT all this money they get from London. Actually RE-JECT it, folks! Isn’t that incredible!

Sturgeon says that Scotland will be DEVASTATED bigly, folks. That it will go OFF THE CLIFF. This is, if they stay in the UK. But outsida it, THEY DON’T HAVE A BEAN, FOLKS! It’s all fake news, folks, pure fake news! Do me a favour – an independent Scotland – it’s FAKE NEWS!

SHE SAYS that Scotland has to stay in the single market, you know, the one in the EU – [with tiny hands flapping uncontrollably] WHEN THEY EXPORT FOUR TIMES MORE TO THE SINGLE MARKET OF THE UK! More fake news! Incredible, folks, just incredible! How can she stand there and be SO DISHONEST, just SO DISHONEST!

SHE SAYS that THE SCOTTISH PEOPLE – get this, THE SCOTTISH PEOPLE – voted to stay in the EU. This is unbelievable, simply unbelievable, folks. Lastima checked, there were over 4 MILLION eligible voters in Scotland. And only ONE POINT SIX voted for the EU. You know what, folks? – MORE fake news! Howda people fall for that?

Imagine if I stood here and I said this! You’d crucify me, you’d be calling for the electric chair, folks!

I’ve never seen a more dishonest, a more nasty politician frankly, than Nicola Sturgeon. And I look in the mirror, folks, a hundred times an hour, tops!

We gotta call out these populist politicians, folks. POPULISM is going TOO FAR! This is very important to me folks, hugely important. Okay, so we all do it – I do it too sometimes – I did it with the inauguration crowds, you know – but Sturgeon is taking it TOO FAR. You can’t tell SUCH LIES to the people – it’s TOO MUCH, folks. Just too much!