The Last Ever Can of Irn-Bru in the World.
I went to visit Angus shortly after the twelfth referendum. NO had once again won by the slenderest of margins. …
Tag Archives: Satire
Time to Crash Out!
Summer is here, the city is fresher than it’s felt in a long time, and it’s time to crash out! …
The Barriers: A Fable of Globalisation.
Dawn brought a fretful little breeze and Erastus Balloo lumbering along in his sepia hatchback, a car so undistinguished that …
The Noctes Ambrosianae (No 22).
[SCENE: The BrewDog on the Cowgate, an apparently half-dismantled bar with bare brickwork on the walls and a stripped-away ceiling. …
Lord Andrew Adonis’ Guide to the European Union.
Once, within the boundaries of the European Union, there was a very wise philosopher named Andrew Adonis. He was so …
Brexit Disaster: The Reality On The Ground.
You will know that my agency often sends me to work in one of Edinburgh’s ampler supermarkets. You might also …
The Noctes Ambrosianae (No 21).
[SCENE: The Caley Picture House. James, Tychy, Pablo, and Tori are drinking in one of those stylish wooden alcoves.] Tychy …
Handiwork: A Ghost Story for Halloween.
“Fingal himself was there, strong in the grey locks of years. Full rose his sinewy limbs; and wide his shoulders …
Ghosts on the Golf Course.
The town had lately curled into a ball, as all things do when they are cold. The intervals when the …
In the Banshee Labyrinth.
Tonight I am thinking of the last time that I was in the banshee labyrinth. It was several years ago, …
The Big Black Man.
The big black man stood in the entrance to the bank’s cafeteria. He was emblazoned on a tall, free-standing plastic …
Forget about the Chlorine-Washed Chicken! What about the Glow-In-The-Dark Goldfish?
Last week the Chlorine-Washed Chicken finally displaced President Donald Trump as the UK middle class’s supreme international hate figure. The …
Our Interview with the Botendaddy.
Readers of many summers and winters will remember that my editor James and I had once travelled to the USA …
EU Democracy in Crisis!
Jean-Claude Juncker (President of the European commission): This European parliament is ridiculous! Really ridiculous! I would like to welcome those …
The Paradox of a Revolutionary Cup of Coffee
My employment agency sometimes sends me to a pub in the south of Edinburgh which is called The Buns. It …
